The Valentine’s Lovefest is in full effect. You can’t walk more than a few steps without running into candied hearts, chocolates, teddy bears, and diamonds (I happened to run into a whole case full of diamonds yesterday and could not stop batting my eyes at them, as though someone — anyone — might notice and gift them to me right then and there.)
You see, it’s so easy to get wrapped up in the concept that Love is about someone else giving something to us. You know, like flowers (preferably red roses, just like on The Bachelor of course), diamonds, affection, and telling you that you’re “the one” (a la Big to Carrie on Sex & The City).
But that isn’t actually Love.
Those are merely expressions of Love from another to us, but it is not the core essence of Love.
The truth is, even those expressions of Love have to stem from a feeling that an individual has inside of him/herself. We actually already have all of the Love we could ever need or desire — inside of us. We get to experience Love with others as a way of remembering this Love that is inside of us already. Now, stay with me here, I can feel the eye rolls coming, but it’s true.
And I’m going to prove it to you.
If you want to experience feeling more Love in your life today, try out a couple or all of the following and notice what happens inside of you and all around you:
- Go on, say it. Go to the nearest mirror, look yourself straight in the eyes and say out loud: “I love you _____ (insert your full name).” Watch what happens to your eyes, to your face, to your heart. Breathe into it and say it again, out loud.
- Take a Love time-in. Instead of diving into the next project, phone call, FB message, or email – stop. Set aside your electronics. Sit on your couch or bed or a comfy chair. Close your eyes with both hands on your heart. Breathe into your heart. Sit there until you feel ready to get up again. Notice how you feel in your body and what happens when you do this.
- Simple pleasures rock. What is the simplest pleasure that you Love but always seem to wait for someone else to get or do for you? For me, it’s flowers. I Love flowers, yet I would rarely buy them for myself. I was always thinking maybe “someone else” would surprise me with them (i.e. this is lame, so please do not do this to yourself — let my re-donk-u-lous-ness be an example for you). Finally I started buying them for myself. Now every time I walk by my fresh bouquet of flowers, I beam. They make me happier than happy, and for $10-20, who can beat that?
- Put it in ink. Go to the store and buy the most romantic greeting card you can find. You know, the one that makes you sigh with Love. Then, go home, pour yourself a great glass of red (or champagne, or tea or kombucha — your choice), get cozy (soft music and fireplace kind of cozy) and write inside the card a love letter to yourself. Thank yourself for being the incredible woman you are. Thank yourself for your beauty, your brilliance, your light, your gifts. Go all out. Say everything our culture says you aren’t supposed to say for fear of “being in ego” (which is actually not true, so ignore that silly thought) or being “arrogant.” Applaud yourself for being the kick-ass woman that you are. Then re-read the card, slowly. Re-read it several times. Put it up somewhere where you can read it often
- Tap it out. Anytime you find yourself thinking unloving or negative thoughts about yourself, stop. Tap Cortices with a focus on connecting to the deep Love within you and say out loud “I choose to Love myself even amidst this.” Take some deep breaths as you do this to clear the unloving energy. Re-focus yourself on the present moment and being kind to yourself.
- Share your Love. Get some colored post-its. Write a Love message on each one. Make sure it’s a Love message that you would Love to receive. Examples: “I love you,” “You’re beautiful,” “You make the world a more special place,” “You glow with Love,” “The world needs you,” “Thank you for being here.” Create your own as well. Keep these with you — in your car, bag, etc. — and put them out at the gym, restaurants and cafes, events, etc.
And here’s the wow factor from all of this — as you connect to the Love that is already within you, you’ll find that you’ll want to share it with more people. The post-it notes will simply be the tip of the Love iceberg. Once we connect to the Love within us, the desire to share it with all we meet becomes profound. Then, guess what happens? People can’t stop sharing the Love that they are feeling with you! Before you know it, Love is pouring into you because you are now a magnet for it.
You see, we can’t attract or experience anything that we aren’t already tuned in to in some way. Remembering that we have all of the Love we need already and then sharing it from that abundant place, allows us to experience it at a level we never before could have imagined.
Have fun with this and use your Love practices daily to allow you and all those around you to go Higher into Loving.
For more from Heather Strang, visit here.