Yesterday was my last day at the John of God casa. It was absolutely magical, albeit a bit heart-wrenching. It’s hard to believe that I’ll head back to the states soon and my time in Abadiania, Brasil is coming to a close.
Current (meditation/energy channeling) went for 3 hours Friday morning, and I felt totally settled with it. Finally, after many LONG days of current, I found my groove. Too bad it was my last day. I spent the better part of the time expressing my gratitude for the experience, as opposed to battling with my head like I had previously done.
In the afternoon, I had the chance to go before John of God one last time. I thanked him for the experience and asked if I needed to return for future healing. We made direct eye contact (which doesn’t always happen because he is channeling a variety of entities/energies), he smiled and said “yes” I needed to return.
Last week I would have told you there was no way in hell I would come back to see John of God. I was in pain, angry, frustrated and in general aggravated with myself and the experience I was having. Then, after my first 4-hour current session last Friday, something shifted and I suddenly felt at home with the experience. I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to keep on having the magical, connected and deep experience I was having. And I wanted all the same people to stay–right by my side.
Of course, this is neither practical or possible.
My New Zealand group left early this morning (6am Brasil time) and I got up to see them off. I managed to keep the tears at bay, but as their taxis drove off into the distance, I felt a knot in my gut. I was going to miss the energy and friendship of the group.
At that moment, I knew — I will return to Abadiania. I will sit in 4-hours of current again, I will sit before John of God. I will meet amazing, wondrous people from Ireland, Germany, New Zealand, Australia, the states and the rest of the universe. I will eat rice and beans until I cannot eat them anymore and I will sip ginger and honey tea at Frutti’s cafe.
I came into this experience expecting it to be something else.
I was angry when it did not go the way I wanted it to.
And then, I fell madly in love with the experience it became.
I fell in love with myself, human beings in all of their miraculous glory and life as it is (not how I think it’s supposed to be). I realized that I am NOT in control, that there is something much, much bigger happening–something I agreed to a long time ago. I felt compelled to come to see John of God because I wanted physical healing, but what I experienced went far deeper than that.
I learned that my physical pain was just there to get my attention. The real work and challenges lay within my psyche, in the crevices and corners I often refused to look at. I got sick because I didn’t excavate those areas within myself.
I wish everyone a deep, fruitful journey into their soul. It’s really such a lovely thing (despite the pain).
Of course, your journey will be far different than mine because it will be perfect for YOU, just like my journey (however dramatic it was!) was perfect for me.
Mostly, I wish that all of us would take 17 days or more on a regular basis to journey into ourselves and to connect to the deepest part of us, the part that most wants to be heard and is most often ignored.
Wishing you much peace, love and joy-beyond all understanding,
P.S. John of God does not tell everyone they need to return to the casa (as I assumed, because c’mon that keeps the casa in business–although you should know–they do NOT charge for John’s healing services). In fact, a lot people were told that they needn’t come back, as they were fully healed. Word on the street is, Westerners can be tougher to heal in a quick fashion due to a lack of faith (imagine that!), whereas people from less westernized areas can often be fully healed in one session, as some experienced during my time at the casa. Simply amazing…
Photo: Me at the casa, overlooking the valley of Abadiania. Photo taken by the fabulous Colin from New Zealand.