It Is Over

The day arrived
When she knew it was over

The illusion was gone
The veil lifted

The same tattood, good-time lovin’
Rum and coke drinkin’ men

Would no longer do
She would have to be stronger now

She would have to sidestep
Her own smooth-talking ways

Her own belief that she deserved nothing more
Than undelivered promises and well-intentioned lies

Her life was calling her in a new direction
In the direction of her truth

In the direction of uncertainty
In the direction of broken patterns and healed wounds

And so, she became what she never believed she could –

Copyright 2011 Heather Strang

Posted by Heather Kristian Strang in Uncategorized Read More

Wow, how this week has flown! I’ve been writing, but not posting, so here we go…


No permanence
It’s all up for grabs
Nothing lasts forever
And it seems such a negative way to see the world
But the Buddha said it best
Damn Buddha.


Sudden Realization

Everything I’ve been told is gone
Long gone
Here I am standing
Amidst beautiful, thin, tall, handsome, sexy people
Uncertain, unworthy and unprepared
Searching for guidance
I realize it is only my hand that
I have to hold
It is only me
To dance this one, last dance
So, here I go, here I flow
May god help me.



Sun shines through bonsai trees
While orange leaves with red tips blow
Ever silently in the breeze.

We sit on plum benches, sipping from delicate tea cups
Letting the majestic oneness of this qi take us away
To 16th century China, to gardens created purposefully for the delight of the soul.

A study, a lounge, a gazebo and intricate carvings
Tell us an important story
We lean in to listen more closely.

Outside, the city bustles
But we can’t hear it, and we don’t want to
Instead, we sip tea and remember simplicity.


The Dog In My Dreams

I feel him
I cannot see him
Or grasp anything but the color
Of his hair.
It’s golden brown
And he feels so warm.
He loves me, I am sure of it
And I, I am crazy in love with him
But I can’t see him
I can only feel him
I strain to recapture any image of him
I give up, hoping he’ll return
Knowing that when I meet him, face-to-face
I will know
And he will be mine forever.


Trey Mikael

You scared me at first.
You were blue and silent
wet, with a cord so close to your neck
I stopped breathing momentarily
frightened that you would not be alright.
She rubbed your little, puffed up chest
and you began to scream, bloody murder.
You were not happy with us
0r happy with the last 16 hours really.
Being pushed and pulled and finally
dragged by your neck into this new world.
Nurses surrounded you and you screamed louder
I took pictures – did the flash startle you?
I turned it off as soon as I could
I was eager to reach out to you, to touch you.
As they wiped you down, rather roughly, I thought
I spoke to you
I told you how much I loved you.
When your dad held you, I whispered quietly in your ear
and you stopped crying.
Your eyes, heavy from the drama of birth
shuffled over to the sound of my voice.
It was familiar, wasn’t it?
I had been talking to you for some time now
You were tired, your mom was tired, we were all exhausted
It was 3:30am after all.
But all of that to say, thank you
Thank you for coming into this world Trey
for choosing us as your new family in this crazy, mad little world of ours.

Thank you.

Copyright 2011 Heather Strang

Posted by Heather Kristian Strang in Uncategorized Read More

I’m always on the lookout for tasty gluten-free, soy-free, dairy-free and low sugar goods. Recently, I scored two amazing finds at my local New Seasons, made by local, Oregon-grown companies. The only thing that makes me happier than eating healthy, “free” foods is supporting our local economy. Now, you can do the same! If you live in the fabulous state of Oregon, of course.

My first find was Blue Moon Bakery’s almond & oat Jammer. I LOVE thumbprint cookies. Whole Foods has a delicious thumbprint, but they use soy in it, so it’s no longer on my splurge list. This Jammer is filled with all natural goodness and meets all my food requirements. And it is hearty and sweet. Delish! To top it off, it’s made by a local, Hillsboro, Ore. bakery.

The second score has had me standing in my kitchen with the freezer door open, while I continually go back for one more bite. Heavenly Sent’s Almond, Rice & Agave Non-Dairy, Frozen Dessert is beyond dreamy. It even tops my favorite – Coconut Bliss! The Rich Chocolate is my absolute fave – you will LOVE it! It’s also local and made by a local family in Corvallis, Ore. And that just makes me happy.

Oh, and my latest gluten/soy/dairy/sugar-free snack attack is organic raisins with organic sunflower seeds (both of which can be purchased at your local Trader Joe’s). Mix about 1/4 c of each for a delicious afternoon snack.

That’s it for now…

I’m headed to the Astoria Crab, Seafood & Wine Festival this weekend to discover some more tasty goods. Crepe Neptune of Cannon Beach (and Astoria Sunday Market and Tillamook Saturday Market fame) will be there with their gluten-free crepes (the best!) and I’m eager to see what other local vendors will surprise me with gluten/dairy/soy-free goodies. Stay tuned…

Happy Eating!

Posted by Heather Kristian Strang in Uncategorized Read More

Saturday Night Awakening

I blame you
So I can keep my story
You know, the story where
You did me wrong.

The story where
I am a victim of your
Heinous, terrible, irrefutable acts
Of unconscious thought, repression and rage.

You know, that one.
Then, during a monologue
By a young man with curly black hair
And dark framed glasses (much like a lover from before)

I am released.
The gig is up
The truth revealed –
There is no one to blame (Gasp!).

I am the victim of no one
I am not a story comprised of sad, sad bits
Or a sequence of events where I was disempowered
I am this one moment.

I am born new in every single, solitary moment
It was not you, or them or even Him.
It was, what is
And that’s simply okay.



Scrubbing the bathroom sink
The words come piling in
Slow at first, easy to remember
Then, like a freight train building up stream
The words accelerate, take on a life of their own
Whole paragraphs appear, rhymes and epiphanies
Letters to mother, cries to lovers – it’s all there
The sink shall have to wait.


First Love

She was the first
But not the last
She loved with the tenderest of affection
But there would be more
Secretly knowing this
It was rejection that found its first word
She retreated
But she did not give up
By adolescence there was a fierceness
Even she could not accommodate
The spaciousness of time took the place
Of hugs and kisses
Leaving her was hard
But harder still for her
She didn’t show it, put on a brave face
But inside, she was dying
She soldiered on, as she always does
But all the while hanging on to the knowing
Knowing, in the end, the love would return
In the end, the light, the glow of sparkling blue eyes
Would appear, and all would be right with the world

Copyright 2011 Heather Strang

Posted by Heather Kristian Strang in Uncategorized Read More

It Beats On

The heart
when in love
is vulnerable, open, raw.
Ready for the taking
it beats to the name of our lover,
every cell calling his name in unison.
It cannot be stopped,
it is far too late for all of that.
The heart,
once open to love
is like a young child
suckling from its mother’s breast –
It will stop for no one.
The heart beats on,
even between lovers,
awaiting its great love, its big love
the one to put the rest to shame.
Until then, it seeks, searches,
sure that it exists.

Copyright 2011 Heather Strang

Posted by Heather Kristian Strang in Uncategorized Read More

Random Attempt at Positivity

I love the Oregon rain because:
It makes everything so beautifully green
It’s water and hey, everything needs water
It makes the sun seem like a superstar that we want to follow around and worship
It gives me an excuse to curl up on the couch and watch
Sex & The City reruns, followed by movies 1 and 2
It’s the reason why I feel like eating 5 cookies, not just 1
(And cookies taste good.)
It’s a perfect setting for a dramatic make-out session
Even better if it’s on top of a car after a day spent wine tasting
It reminds us that we aren’t the Wicked Witch of the West
It makes the Earth smell good, at least first thing in the morning or right after a long rain storm
It forces us to cuddle up with strangers under awnings and bus stops
It gives us a reason to buy crazy polka dotted umbrellas
It makes galoshes seem cool, and like a good idea
It keeps a wet t-shirt contest going, even if there is no formal contest
It reminds us that we spend too much time fixing our hair anyway
It brought us to skinny jeans (bootcut isn’t worth the puddle drama)
It gives men the opportunity to show the ladies chivalry –
And yes, you can dry clean your jacket later
Rain reminds us that we can be happy, even when Mother Earth isn’t.

Copyright 2011 Heather Strang

Posted by Heather Kristian Strang in Uncategorized Read More

It Is Me

From my head to my toes
I love you
Your sparkling smile
Blue-green dancing eyes
Living from a place of love
of knowing
Cleverly creating life exactly as
you want it
Peering curiously into every crevice
Oh, I just love, love, love you.

Copyright 2011 Heather Strang

Posted by Heather Kristian Strang in Uncategorized Read More


If words were what you wanted
I would gladly give them to you.
If healing was what you craved
I would scour the world in search of it.
And if your soul yearned for contentment
I would tell you to take a nap.

Copyright 2011 Heather Strang

Posted by Heather Kristian Strang in Uncategorized Read More


With chocolate and vanilla
smeared on our lips
we sit in cluttered silence.
Prom queens
and 30-pound babies
surround us.
What can we say?
Strawberries and coconut
fill the emptiness
while a clock announces –
it is time to go.


Airport Love

I am dropping you off at the airport
But this time, is the last time
The last time until you’re home.
Cozy and warm in 700 square feet of love
Of waking up at 5am to feel your strong arms around me
To dinners and breakfasts and snacks of
massive variety
Stumptown for one and green tea for another
Honey on our tongues
Kissing in parking lots, shopping malls, cars, bars, bathrooms, stadiums and lawns
The airport is our sign of almost being home
Of being so close to the very thing we desire the most,
each other.

Copyright 2011 Heather Strang

Posted by Heather Kristian Strang in Uncategorized Read More