So…I bolted upright in that hammock at the Luz Divina pousada in Abadiania, Brazil in 2008 – not far from the John of God Casa – after I heard a woman’s voice say “You’re not in control.”
I couldn’t stay lying there any longer, as I felt incredibly unsettled. So, I did what I often did when I was trying to avoid knowing something important about myself – I went in search of something to eat and someone to talk to.
But of course, neither was available.
I was going to have to reconcile this on my own. I was going to have to get to the bottom of this revelation of “not being in control” by myself.
When I returned home to my small studio in the urban environment of NW Portland – suddenly everything that had felt right with my life felt totally wrong.
How could I continue on with my job, in a cubicle, success coaching adults over the phone while people swarmed all around me in an office several floors off the ground? How could I live in a small little box that was surrounded by horns and garbage trucks and tourists and locals milling about?
Maybe I wasn’t in control I realized, because the Heather Strang who had created the above life didn’t seem to exist anymore, and instead what came forth was a strong call to write my first book (although I had no idea what that was!) and be at the beach (although I had no idea where that was).
Because I was finally open, no longer fighting full-force the flow of my life trajectory (aka my Destiny), Spirit could guide me with more ease.
A former boyfriend turned friend moved back to Kauai and invited me to come stay and rent with him while I “figured out” what the hell I was doing with my life, since my time in Brazil had left me in a new state of consciousness.
I sold my car and most of my things, got the approval from corporate to continue coaching for them from Kauai (which had never been allowed before and I was seen as sort of a unicorn at the company because of this!) and had a big going away party – all within 3 weeks.
Spirit moves fast when you’re not in the way.
I wrote my first book, working on it every evening after coaching during the day, on Poipu Beach in Kauai.
It was a time of quiet, of introspection and of being brought together with just the right mentor, just the right coach, just the right lifestyle (I went Vegan and was outside every day hiking and writing) – as I became more Me.
I breathed deep. I was surrendering. I was learning that I was not in control and that was a very good thing.
I was learning that surrender – aka not trying to control everything – isn’t a one-time event. It’s not something you do and then you’re done.
We have a mind, a conditioned mind, and a Soul that has had many, many lifetimes. There are wounds in the conditioning and in the Soul. There are fears and traumas and story after story after story.
And all of it is begging for our conscious awareness along with the following 3 things – on repeat:
- Trust in Self, Spirit & Life
- Embodying who we really are – our Divinity
I went on to learn after my time in Kauai how to work/manipulate the Law of Attraction, how to intend and ritual and release.
But that did not put me on the total path of my Destiny.
It was only when at the end of 2014 – as I sat surrounded by the external manifestations I was sure would make me happy: a fiance, a book deal, a book tour, a movie option, a 6-figure income as a lifestyle blah-blah-blah (that’s the official title I’m giving my former biz way of being ;)) – that I “got” it.
It wasn’t about any of THAT.
It was about me getting the fuck out of the way of my Destiny. I could use my will (& I did) to create a lot of the above. But I didn’t lock into the full path of my Destiny (I was on a lot of scenic routes) until I surrendered fully to Spirit. When I surrendered fully to MYSELF, to who I really was, not who I thought I had to be, not even who I thought I wanted to be. But to the formless, dynamic, expansive, true ME that had lived a multitude of lifetimes.
My personality was seduced with the above listed external manifestations while my Higher Self longed for me to get on with it and get into the life that was waiting for me.
This life that I now live. A life of spaciousness. A life of ease. A life without alarms or to-do lists a mile long or rushing anywhere. A life that feels a lot like a vacation except it never ends (and I no longer drink alcohol like I did while on vacation!). A life of creativity. A life of abundance in all forms. A life of joy. A life of deep loving.
A life that I have no idea where it’s taking me to next, but I lean in as I am led to the next person, the next relationship, the next creative endeavor, the next program, the next mentorship client, the next dance, the next joyous laughter, the next salt bath.
It is a life of Magic.
An example for you: It’s a life of having the thought pop in that I want to see this one movie, but it just doesn’t seem to line up to do so and then it’s officially out of all of the theaters and watching it on my laptop doesn’t feel quite right either so I let it go. And then…
Then, coming out of doing something I love – a dance class – I feel compelled to drive to Whole Foods that is sort of out of my way, but I feel it so I follow it. And on that drive I go by this little theater that I love and it says they are playing the movie that I’ve been wanting to see on that very night. And then I hear, “Ask so-and-so to go with you.” And then I ask so-and-so to go with me and she had tried to go see that very movie at that very same theater the night before but her intuition said to wait and now look, here we are!
I’m not kidding you people – every day of my life is like this. I follow what feels right – I don’t do any work until it feels right. I don’t write this blog until I’m guided to. I don’t do client sessions until I’m guided to. I don’t call people or ask them to do things, until I’m guided to. I eat what I am guided to. I love who I am guided to. I release who I am guided to.
And every single day it’s this piece lining up with this piece and this piece leading me to the next big insight OR a really fun movie date with one of my favorite people.
This is a life of Magic. It’s a life of Spirit-Led Mastery. It’s a life of Surrender, Trust, & Embodying your Divinity.
If you’re ready to be attuned, aligned and supported in creating a life of Magic, a life of Spirit-Led Mastery for yourself, join us for Spirit-led Mastery: Living Your Destiny Masterfully. We begin in 1 week!